Mar 17 2009
5 Clothing Items in Identity Crisis
I like crossover music. I like mashups. I flipped over Jaydiohead when Minty Fresh Beats released it. But sometimes when I see certain clothes, all I can think is: identity crisis. Just take the espadrille. I feel like the espadrille is a wedge shoe that wants to get a piece of the sandal pie but also wants to get in on the lace up shoe action. But you just can’t have it both ways. And frankly, I find the espadrille impossible to match with any item of clothing. Why? Because its identity crisis makes for an ugly, coordination-challenged shoe. Let’s take a look at some more of these Gen Ys of clothing.
The Shrug
Why, oh why, sleeves, do you insist upon detaching from a shirt. And how are sleeves alone supposed to keep a sister warm?
Gaucho Pants
Are you pants? Are you a skirt? Are you just covering up massive thighs?
The Romper
The romper is what happens when shirts decide to have babies with shorts. I admit, I love the romper. But they do kind of bring me back to my days as an infant when I couldn’t just pull my pants down to urinate.
Bermuda Shorts
Bermuda shorts are just shorts that are wannabe pants. If this were an SAT analogy, Bermuda shorts would be to pants as Ashlee Simpson is to a singer.
The Duster Sweater
The duster is an oddity of outerwear. It could be a sweater, a jacket, a robe. Call it versatile if you want; I call it confused.
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Oh my gosh I’ve worn ALL of these at some point except for the lace-up-mary-jane-wedge espadrilles! (The shrug! The shorts!)
But the original espadrille flat from the ’80s is actually a classic, and very wearable. It’s the ‘clones,’ I agree with you, that are a bit of an anomaly. I also read an article warning people against wearing these lace-up things at the airport, lest you take forever at security.
The only people who look good in Gaucho pants (are they also called Mumu?) are reed-thin models, at least 5’8 tall. On everyone else, they’re just not flattering… at all.
I must admit, I looove the romper/playsuit! In fact, I bought a brightly colored DVF romper with my first paycheck