Mar 17 2009

Look-a-Likes: Ancient Torture Devices or Modern Beauty Aids?

Published by at 7:36 am under Beauty Buzz

Eyelash Curler

Any woman worth her weight in MAC products knows that beauty is pain. There’s no way we can look this good and feel good at the same time. For the non-girly-girl, especially, primping can be down right equivalent to torture.

We laugh at the exaggeration, but upon closer examination are we laughing too soon? Sure, it’s just a simple eyelash curler, but doesn’t it look just a little too much like something more sinister? My boyfriend certainly stares skeptically whenever the metal contraption shows its face.

The eyelash curler isn’t alone in its deceptively devious appearance. In the pictures below, you tell me: Pain Maker From the Past or Today’s Pretty-Upper?

Pear and Tweezers

Left: The Pear – Take part in little sodomy, adultery, incest, heresy, blasphemy or sexual union with Satan in medieval times and be ready for a world of hurt. This unpleasant device would be stuck in an orifice (mouth or… worse) and made to expand. You can imagine the rest, but I wouldn’t recommend it.

Right: Tweezers – Just a little pinch and your eyebrows will be looking better than ever.

The Rack and WAO-1 Robot

Left: The Rack – Victims were tied to this board at the ankles and wrists and pulled apart until every joint in the body was dislocated. One hell of a stretch though.

Right: The WAO-1 Robot – Ease your way into the grip of this machinery and get ready for the pain. And by pain, I mean soothing facial massage.

Chastity Belt and Tummy Tuck Underwear

Left: Chastity Belt – These shiny undergarments were supposedly used as anti-temptation devices. Unless you held the magical key, there’d be no sex or self-pleasuring of any kind.

Right: Tummy Tuck Control Underwear – There’s no need for the torture of an actual tummy tuck with this lacy underwear that cinches the waist and flattens the stomach. However, much like with the chastity belt, wearing this might just ensure that you see no action.

Revolving Drum and Derma Roller

Left: Revolving Drum – This torture device has been described as similar to a cheese grater… but for human bodies. Prisoners would be placed inside and asked questions. Any sign of resistance and they could expect an excruciating turn of the drum.

Right: The Scientia Derma Roller – Roll this micro-needle-packed ball of fun across your body to stimulate collagen production and enjoy benefits ranging from hair restoration to anti-aging effects. It may look scary, but supposedly it feels just like a little tickle.

Mace and Mascara

Left: The Mace – This medieval weapon does exactly what it looks like it would. With a nice forceful blow, this bad boy can easily crush a skull.

Right: Givenchy Phenomen’Eyes Mascara – One forceful swipe of Givenchy’s mascara and your eyelashes will be perfectly curled and separated.

Tongue Tearer and Eyelash Curler

Left: Tongue Tearer – Say the wrong thing and, with a squeeze, have your tongue torn out. It’s all in the name.

Right: Eyelash Curler -  Say the word and, with a squeeze, have your eyelashes beautifully curled. It’s all in the name.

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