Most people want to lose a little weight, but there are those that simply can’t be bothered with all the fitness and nutrition that goes into it. For them, counting calories is mentally exhausting and working out is physically exhausting and all of that just leads to a nap and not a better figure.

If only there was a way to lose weight without actually having to do anything. If only you could do everything you do now, eat the same way, sit on the couch all day the same way and still get skinny quick. If only…

But, wait… there is. The following eight wacky products offer to get you nice and thin with as little effort as possible. Sounds promising!

Teijin Nanofront Underwear

The latest of the lazy weight loss products is an underwear that does all the fat burning for you. Japan-based chemistry company Teijin claims that the fabric will generate friction against your skin, thus melting centimeters off your waist line. All you have to do is wear these granny panties during your day-to-day activities and watch the magic happen. (Note: I couldn’t find an actual picture of the fat burning product, so the above photo shows off a different kind of hot underwear. You’re welcome)

AOQILI Soap

You have to shower anyway, might as well lose weight while doing it, right? The soap contains the “elixirs of undersea plants,” but for the rationale on how that makes you skinny I’ll let the company do the talking: “the unique qualities are its defeating agents which penetrate to the subcutaneous layer to assist in the elimination of fat layers. It contains many kinds of trace elements, vitamins and minerals, which reduce the accumulation of series fluid and estrange the skin.” Glad that’s all cleared up.

CLAmor Spray

Dieting requires such effort, discipline and nutritional knowledge. Thankfully, there’s CLAmore, a weight-loss supplement, that let’s you gorge yourself on French fries and pizza. Now that’s a diet! All you have to do is spray CLAmor on your food and as your body digests it, the main ingredient Clarinol will do the shrinking of the fat cells for you. And, best of all, it comes in four fun flavors: butter, olive oil, garlic and plain.

SLIMist Weight Loss Spray Program

Speaking of just spraying away that unwanted fat, there’s also SLIMist, which is for your body instead of your food. The program includes an intra oral spray and three scent inhalers called Scentsifiers to help you lose weight. I’m not really sure how it’s supposed to work, but my guess is by curbing your appetite. If that’s the case, I’m sure I could come up with a few simpler, less expensive smells that would curb your appetite.

Shape Slimming Vibrating Belt

Back in the 1950’s people were all about the vibrating belt as a weight loss device and, apparently, not much has changed today. The Shape Slimming Vibrating Belt helps you lose weight while you’re reading the paper, watching TV or simply further defining the body shaped indentation in your couch. The vibrations are basically supposed to turn fat cells into sweat and your flabby stomach into a six pack. If this somehow doesn’t work out right, I’m sure you can use the vibrating device for something else…

Diet-Aid Toothpaste

If going out of your way to strap on a vibrating belt seems like too much work, then try the Diet-Aid toothpaste. You already have to brush your teeth (I hope). This “miracle toothpaste” uses chromium to reduce blood sugar levels and suppress your appetite. Plus your teeth will be pretty clean too.

Weight Loss Sunglasses

These blue shades may not be stylish, but do you want to be trendy or skinny? The theory behind the glasses are that blue is the least appetizing color on the spectrum so by giving your food a blue tinge, you won’t want to eat it. However, blue cake still sounds like delicious cake to me.

Tapeworm Diet Pills

Then there’s always the benefit of purposely ingesting a parasite. These pills emerged in the 1920 and since then women would swallow the tapeworm pill and allow the tiny guy to help eat the food you consume. You get to be constantly hungry and hosting a living parasite in your intestine, but hey at least you’ll look pretty sweet in skinny jeans. Somehow I don’t think these get the FDA approval, so you may have to get crafty on the black market.

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