Poor Britney Spears. She’s just trying to do the Circus thing, not get committed and eat some Taco Bell, y’all, but things just haven’t been going her way. The latest patriarchal figure chastising her is the Westboro Baptist Church. These are the same radical Christians that picket the funerals of soldiers and hates gays. For some reason, they’ve chosen Britney Spears as their next target. The group from Kansas has decided to protest Spears’ April 2nd show in Kansas City.

The news release promoting the picketing spews lovely lines like:

“Just you wait — YOU WILL EAT YOUR BABIES!…Britney will REALLY try to get custody of her hell-spawn back when she gets hungry enough! … God Hates Britney Spears!”

If there was a legitimate concern there I missed it among all the crazy.

Unfortunately, Spears has little time to worry about the Westboro brigade. She’s got a force much bigger than God on her case: Her dad. A voicemail allegedly left by Spears for a lawyer reveals that Czar Jamie has threatened to take Britney’s children away.

C’mon Jamie, leave her alone. Aren’t those weaves of hers punishment enough?

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