Sorry, but the up-close shot of a butt crack is necessary to show off the results of wearing Ninette van Kamp’s jeweled underwear. The twist is that the jewels are on the inside to leave interesting indented patterns on your butt. Because, I assume, someone finds that’s sexy? Trendhunter brought these odd undergarments to our attention and I’m feeling uncomfortable just thinking about them.

Indentation lovers, though, don’t have to worry that the patterns will be confined to your butt. Match your embossing underwear with your embossing bedding and spread the fun. Rise and Sigh sheets serve a similar purpose to van Kamp’s creation, but instead of patterns you’ll get phrases like “such a pleasure.”

That’s one way to leave an impression.

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