Because there’s no better way to sell coffee than to completely degrade women.

Well, there are worse ways girls could imitate Barbie. (Hello, lots of plastic and unrealistic body proportions!) Two teens in the UK arrived at prom wheeled in still sealed Barbie boxes. Sammy Burns and Megan Barton spent two weeks meticulously building the boxes out of cardboard, wallpaper and pink paint.

The pair wanted a more unique means of arriving at prom than your ordinary stretch limo and I think they achieved it.

Much like new puppies wrapped in a box for Christmas, Sammy and Megan needed holes punched into the creations to provide air. But puppies are cute… and so was this idea. The only boxes involved in proms for most teens are boxed wines… also fun, but not as original (or legal).

The attractive girl gets the speedy sperm. That’s the phrase, right? A new study of red junglefowls suggests that males from promiscuous species (ie humans of course!) can adjust the speed and effectiveness of their sperm based on how attractive they find their mate. Faster sperm equals better fertilization.

I’ll let the scientists do the explaining:

“There was a strong relationship between sperm velocity and the volume of the ejaculate sperm came from,” write Cornwallis and O’Connor, adding that males allocated “larger ejaculates to attractive females.”

The mechanism behind the phenomenon is a mystery. All the researchers know for now is sexier means speedier.

But what exactly qualifies as “attractive?”

If you’re a red junglefowl it’s all about the comb. Make your own judgements about what that means for human ladies.

This is the clearest video yet of what is obviously Michael Jackson’s ghost. You can see the shadowy, ectoplasmic figure slinking across the hall, his mournful step heavy with thunderstorms and saggy teddy bears missing arms. It can only be one: the Gloved One.

This video was taken during a CNN tour of Neverland Ranch, and in this frame-slowed version, the figure is that much more haunting. But is it real?

Click on the photo for 21 ways to be a gentleman

A gentleman eats the garnish on his dinner plate if he so desires? Waits until a lady at the table lifts her fork before he takes his first bite? Yeah, we don’t think so.

The Scoop

Teen tries to auction off naked pics of mom – [Lemondrop]

Lohan makes several huge career mistakes – [Bittenandbound]

Do you think this guy loves Christmas? – [Holytaco]

Brad Garrett’s girlfriend is awesome – [The Superficial]

Here’s another reason you don’t need a man – [The Frisky]

Megan Fox steals the show at Armani Prive – [My Fashion Life]

A 500K thank you gift for Paris Hilton – [Anything Hollywood]

Hayden Panettiere has great style – [Celebrity Odor]

Child Stars who actually ended up doing well – [Cityrag]

It’s like Teen Beat but for the uncool crowd. Geeky Dreamboats indulges your crushes on all the most adorable nerds in pop culture… all for just $12.99. We’ll let the rainbow hearts and geekboat meter slide, if only because we get pages dedicated to Adam Brody, Michael Cera and more. If they’re considered geeks, slap on a pocket protector and enjoy!

In an awesome act of fate, yesterday I was reminiscing about Capri Sun and all of a sudden I stumble upon this amazing Capri Sun jacket.

Sue of Sue’s Sewing and Happenings created the masterpiece out of 140 Capri Sun Juice Bags. More impressive than the craft work itself is that Sue was able to successfully drink 140 Capri Sun Juice Bags without ripping holes in any of them with the straw. The drink was always delicious to drink but also impossible to open.

Such were the trials and tribulations of the elementary school cafeteria. That, and sneaking snap bracelets past evil administrators intent on destroying the “dangerous” fashion statement.

Perhaps snap bracelets were such a fad because this Capri Sun couture had not yet existed.

An multi-million pound project aimed at reducing Britain’s high rate of teen pregnancy has been discontinued after research showed participants were actually more likely to become pregnant, BBC News reports. Funny how that happens.

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In a very sad new survey on behalf of E&T magazine, 11 out of 1009 people thought that Buzz Lightyear was the first person to step onto the moon. Yes, that would be the astronaut from Pixar’s Toy Story. So, those 11 people are in fact correct that he is an astronaut.

To be fair, there was an actual non-animated astronaut named Buzz Aldrin on the Apollo 11 mission. And he was the second person to set foot on the moon. Close enough, right?

However, we have a few other Pixar historical theories…

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“Do your feet hurt? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.” If a guy said that to you, you’d hop into bed with him ASAP, right?

Probably not. Glamour.com recently listed 12 of the most horrible pickup lines. As Lemondrop cringed to read, they started to wonder whether pickup lines (even really creative ones) ever actually work.

So they asked a couple of friends to get their take on pickup lines.