Jan 05 2010

Virgin Mary, Close-Eyes, And Invisalign All Compete For The Bachelor

Published by at 10:00 am under Entertainment,Off the Press,Relationships

jake bachelor

Super hot Jake Pavelka from last season’s Bachelorette is now this season’s Bachelor.  He was always my favorite.  I actually had the chance to be on the show this season but I turned it down because of work, had I known it would be Jake I would definitely have changed my decision!  There were 25 girls competing for Jake’s heart now down to 15.  Watching the show I gave all the girls nicknames that are definitely going to stick for the season.

jake bachelor 2010

I am happy with the 15 girls that he kept. Even nut-job Michelle. We knew she was crazy when she got out of the limo and had her arms out flying to him like a plane. This is definitely going to be a lot of fun to watch other than the fact that we know Jake gets hurt and screwed over. He is too hot for that. WTF? Well here are the 15 girls moving in the house and their nicknames.

1. Tenley a.k.a. Elevenly

tenley bachelor

She has a very stupid name but I do think she is going to make it pretty far in this.  She is one of those innocent girl next door types.  She has only been with one person, her ex husband.  She is beautiful and considering she got the first impression rose and the first kiss, Jake definitely sees something in her.

2. Ella a.k.a. The Mom

ella bachelor

I think Ella is stupid for dropping the bomb about her son Ethan her first time alone with Jake.  Now you will be known as the mom.  Good one Ella.

3. Elizabeth from Nebraska a.k.a. Boob-race

elizabeth from nebraska

Beautiful girl with gorgeous blue eyes. She seems really cool when she wanted to play football and all.  She definitely knows how to have a good time. Her downfall… her boobs are so far apart that they seem like they are running away from each other… I’d go back to that plastic surgeon and have him fix those things!

4. Ali a.k.a. Raspy

ali bachelor

She was so cute with her raspy lost voice and then when she tripped going up the stairs and ripped her dress. She seems real and I think she will get far in this too. She is definitely a beauty.

5. Vienna a.k.a. Big Bird

Vienna bachelor
This girl is a loser. She has a dog that she gets dressed up with and goes to eat with. Really? Don’t you have any friends? What’s up with that? I did not see him picking her to stick around at all.

6. Christina a.k.a. Jelly Bean Bitch

christina bachelor

I don’t like this girl at all. She rubbed all the girls the wrong way by bringing in jelly beans as treats for them when they leave to ease the pain. Really? Honey, you’re not that pretty and why start drama in the house right away. Hopefully she is gone next episode. I’d really like that.

7. Gia a.k.a. Voicebox

gia bachelor
Beautiful swimsuit model who somehow owns a hair salon? Does daddy own it? Can he buy you a new voicebox too? Because your voice is incredibly annoying.

8. Ashley E a.k.a. Halloween

ashley bachelor
I have friends who are teachers, and this girl makes them look bad. She is starving for attention the fact that she had to dress up as a flight attendant and then proceeded to tell Jake that her brain is too big for the hat to fit. Really? Stick to teaching your little kids, go back home. You won’t make it very long.

9. Rozlyn a.k.a. Boobie Barbie

rozlyn bachelor
Rozlyn is gorgeous, but that may be it. Crazy nut-job Michelle was upset and turned to Rozlyn for comfort and it was like talking to a wall. She may be pretty on the outside but probably not too pretty on the inside. I think she is also the one who hooks up with another girl in the house and causes drama from how it looks on the scenes for the next episodes.

10. Jessie a.k.a. Olive Oil

jessie bachelor
This girl hasn’t brought much to the table and she looks like Olive Oil from Pop Eye.

11. Corrie a.k.a. Mouse

corrie bachelor
She looks like a little mouse to me and was super awkward towards Jake. How did she make it? Maybe he just wants to come to Florida.

12. Valishia a.k.a. Felatio

valishia bachelor

Pretty girl, bad name.

13. Ashleigh H a.k.a. Trip

ashleigh bachelor
What a first impression! I laughed SO hard out loud and rewound the part when she trips and falls into Jake’s arms 3 times! Poor girl. Maybe if her dress wasn’t so slutty she would’ve been able to walk better and NOT fall.

14. Kathryn a.k.a. Tutu

kathryn bachelor
Kathryn was so cute! I loved her purple poufy dress. Definitely something I would wear! I also loved the fact that she wears a fake wedding ring to avoid getting hit on during flights. Smart girl. I like her.

15. Michelle a.k.a. Virgin Mary

michelle bachelor
This girl is action packed with problems. Right from the start, they hadn’t been in the house an hour and she’s already in the bathroom crying. Way too many emotions for this show. Good luck girl. You may become the laughing stock of the house. The girls already think you’re nuts.

I am very happy with the girls he let go:

1. Kimberly a.k.a Miranda

kimberly bachelor
She looks like Miranda from Sex and The City… never a good thing.

2. Channy a.k.a. Tranny Whore

channy bachelor
I can’t believe she told him in Cambodian that he could land on her landing strip… for God’s sake girl, have some class, no wonder he let you go!

3. Emily a.k.a. Invisalign

emily bachelor
Would be a very cute girl if she got Invisalign. She too, like Virgin Mary, seems too emotional for the show.

4. Tiana a.k.a. Golden Girl

Tiana bachelor
She was the oldest on the show. I feel bad for her but I think it was a good choice to let her go. I think she probably weighed more than him too.

5. Kirsten a.k.a. The Waitress

kirsten bachelor
She is a waitress… really? That sucks. Let me go on national television and have my occupation come up as “waitress”. How terrible.

6. Alexa a.k.a. Close-Eyes

alexa bachelor
All I can remember about this girl is how close her eyes are and how big her chin was. Hmmmm….

7. Caitlyn a.k.a. Wallflower

caitlyn bachelor
Can’t say I even remember this girl. Definitely a wallflower.

8. Elizabeth from D.C. a.k.a. Butch

elizabeth from d.c. bachelor
She’s in the national guard or something like that. Thanks for protecting our country and all but to voluntarily say you have no fashion sense and then have that as your job… going to be a turn off for Jake.

9. Stephanie a.k.a. Tiny Dancer

stephanie bachelor
She tried to teach Jake to dance. It was cute, but he’s not worried about dancing the first night. You should have talked instead and then maybe you’d still be around.

10. Sheila a.k.a. Top Gun

sheila bachelor
Guess he’s not looking for a girl in the same profession. I thought she was beautiful and it was cute when she wore the aviators.

I guess only time will tell with this season of The Bachelor. Jake is super hot and seems like a super nice guy. Hopefully he isn’t a push over, which he sort of seems like he is. I will definitely be watching this religiously as I do every season. If you have any nicknames you’d like to add, please do. I’d love to hear what other people thought of these girls.

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