This is what we were left with on this past episode of the Jersey Shore on MTV.  Ronnie is hardcore.  I love that stumpy bastard.  While everyone is walking home from the club, girls start shouting at the guidettes that they are dressed like whores and to go back to New York.  What is with that?  Is that supposed to be an insult?  I don’t know but it was pretty damn rude of the girls.  Just make fun of them behind their back, no reason to start screaming and start a fight.  They told Snooks she looked like she was in her Halloween costume… which she did, but still.

Ronnie couldn’t take it and they kept on talking shit, next thing we know he turns around and runs like speedy gonzalez and knocks a dude out with ONE PUNCH.  Go Ronnie!  Now he is in jail as a result, but he rules in my book.

The Situation finally gets some action… in the hot tub… without protection.  Grody!  He brings a wasted ass girl home with him and they bang in the hot tub.  Who knows how many STDs were floating around in that hot water between the two of them.  Vinny and Tonya are on the hammock and see.  Snooks brings home a guy that she pretty much loves and they mess up The Situation’s situation.

When Mike goes to bring waste-face back into the house to screw some more, she doesn’t fall down the stairs, she FLIES!  It was hilarious and I rewound that part probably about 5 times and laughed just as hard each time.  It was great.  You really pick the winners Mike, first the girl with the hippos and she gets arrested, then a girl who attempts to fly down stairs… impressive!

So I love Pauly D.  He is the only one in the house who has been on everyone’s good side since day 1.  Yes, he is a douchebag, but in the end he is a good friend.  Poor Pauly meets a Jewish chick, Danielle, who falls in love with him.  She isn’t looking for a hookup or a one night stand, she’s looking for marriage.  She makes it clear to Pauly that she is waiting til marriage to bang.  He only continued to talk to her because she was a challenge.

The next night Pauly goes out with Vinny and three cute chicks on the boardwalk.  He had plans later that night with Danielle who he was going to call when he got home to hang out.  Little did he know that she was a stage 5 clinger, and was stalking him.  First when he ran into her, he was nice and said hi and told her he’d call her when he got home.  She didn’t take a hint and became a jealous stalker girlfriend type and kept following him around the boardwalk.  Wow, she is what gives girls a bad name… and Jews.  Thanks a lot Danielle.  She comes up to him while he’s with the girls getting henna tattoos and gives him a gift.  A shirt that says “I Love Jewish Girls” with an Italian flag in the heart.  Really?  Really Danielle?  Did you think that was okay?  WTF is wrong with people?

The girl doesn’t stop and gives him a hard time and tells him to call her and says she’s not going to call him.  What does she do?  She calls him.  He makes Vinny answer in case it’s one of the girls they were with earlier that they had to leave because of the stalker.  Vinny does an unbelievable impression of The Situation.  He tells the psycho that he’ll tell Pauly to call her when he gets in.  The girl doesn’t stop calling, they take the phone off the hook.

Finally, the next day he has got to tell this girl to leave him alone.  The real situation answers the phone and gives it to Pauly.  After she tries to rip him a new one, he finally gets to talk and tells her that she is a stalker and crazy.  She doesn’t let him talk and he is like “it’s my turn, I’m talking”.  He is so cute.  He really just wanted to be nice about it, but she was so crazy that there was just no being nice anymore.  He ends up hanging up on the crazy girl.

Who do they run into out at the club?  OMG Danielle!  She is EVERYWHERE he is.  Poor freakin’ girl.  They fight like they’re a couple, and then for some reason Pauly ends up going off with her.  Maybe he wants to pop her cherry and then laugh about it… who knows.

Poor Snooki is just looking for some love on the Jersey Shore this summer.  She met this guy Keith that she really likes and says that if she is to have sex with anyone, she’d want it to be him.  I think she will have sex with anyone with a working penis at this point.  She is 4’9, maybe someone will find that cute, because her face is clearly not.

The night of the knockout by Ronnie, Snooki is on the couch at a club showing some hardcore PDA… and her ass.  Girls come over while they are making out and ask the guy what he’s doing?  That he has a girlfriend… Snooks is so upset she thought she finally found a nice guy to make out with.  Snooki, dressed like that… you’re not gonna meet a nice guy sweetheart.  Just not what nice guys are looking for.  What did she expect?  She just looks like she is DTF which she is…

There has been a lot of tension between Vinny and The Situation.  The last time Melissa, Mike’s baby sister, came to visit Vinny wasn’t so into her.  Now that he is trying to get back at Mike even more he goes for the gold.  Melissa is smitten with Vinny.  How could she not be.  He is the cutest guy in the house and the most normal, least guido too.  At this point they’re outside and she’s on his lap and they’re tickling each other and giggling.  The look on Mike’s face when he hears and sees this was priceless.  Nice Vinny!

Later that night Melissa was going to sleep in the bed with her brother and then she’s like “It’s okay, I’ll go sleep downstairs”.  Mike lets her sleep in his bed and he sleeps in Sammi’s.  He wakes up in the middle of the night and his sister is not in the room anymore.  She wanted to sleep in the bed with Vinny, which is exactly what she did.  She is actually a cute girl, she just loses some points for being related to The Situation.

The “family” has a nice dinner their first night in Atlantic City.  When they all arrived everyone took naps except for Snooki.  She was hilarious.  She took a bubble bath and was drinking and saying it felt like a porno.  Had she been hot and naked, yes it would’ve been like a porno.

Anyway, they’re at dinner and The Situation is causing problems with everyone.  He says, “Where did Snooki go?”  She was sitting next to JWoww, but I guess he couldn’t see her because she’s so small.  This starts bickering between the two of them and then she asks for a roll, and Mike does the worst thing ever.  He says “Don’t worry you already have a couple”.  What an asshole.  A guy should never comment on a girl’s weight, especially in front of other people AND on TV.  How messed up is that?

Snooki runs away and is crying, JWoww comes to her rescue.  It is revealed that Snooks had an eating disorder in high school and just got over it a year ago.  Yes she is a bit rolly, but she shouldn’t be called out the way she was.  It was wrong.  Just proves even more how shitty of a person The Situation really is.

The Situation is having Vinny’s sloppy seconds in Atlantic City.  Classy.  JWoww drank too much and was throwing up in the bathroom.  She needed help and thinking Mike was her friend, she asked him to please take her back up to the room.  He refuses because he is hooking up with a slut.  She smacks him on the head and tells him she really needs him.  They start screaming and she says shes gonna kick the girl’s ass, and as a result he has her thrown out of the club like a piece of trash.

JWoww is awesome.  She goes back to the room and tells Sammi and Ronnie that as soon as Mike gets back she is going to punch him in the face.  She lived up to her word, like she always does.  As soon as they came back in she charges out and starts swinging.  Vinny holds her back but she finally gets a punch and hits him right in the face.  It was AWESOME.  He had that coming for a LONG LONG time!

I am very upset that the show is almost over.  I really enjoyed this ridiculous show and hope they find another crazy group to do it again next summer.  I don’t know if they will have anyone just as ridiculous though.  Like Snooki, she speaks for herself.  The Situation… I’m sure we could find another super douchebag to take his spot.  I love MTV’s The Jersey Shore!!!

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